All I Want for Christmas is…Quality Family Time
Published byChristopher Agnew
Christmas is a magical time of year, but for separated parents, the pressure to ensure that Christmas is ‘special’ for the children can often lead to worry and stress.
When everyone else is starting to wind down to the end of the year, as a family solicitor, my experience is that December is a very busy time. Each year can be a challenge to help clients navigate through the nuances of Christmas plans where parents are living separately. I thought that it might be helpful to set out my four ‘top tips’ regarding Christmas holiday arrangements for the children.
1. Planning, planning, planning!
The earlier plans are put in motion, the greater an opportunity for constructive discussion. If agreement can’t be reached and legal input is needed, the earlier this is identified, the better. For some parents, last minute planning is what works best, but some need certainty to allow advanced planning. If left too late in the day, the opportunity to tackle differences in opinion or approach and have an agreement reached well in advance of Christmas can be much more challenging.
2. Flexibility is key
To quote from the much loved children’s Christmas classic ‘Miracle on 34th Street’ “Oh, Christmas isn’t just a day. It’s a frame of mind.”
‘Christmas’ to some means Christmas day. To others, it is the days in the lead up to and following on from 25th December. The reality is that, for parents living separately and sharing care of the children, there will be a need to look beyond simply 25th December. The days that a child celebrates Christmas with their parent is very much down to the agreement that has been reached between the parents. In approaching that discussion, it might be work thinking about: What are the expectations around contact with the parent without day-to-day care? Is there a prior agreement that needs slight tweaking? Do broader family commitments mean have an impact? Would a ‘year about’ arrangement give the children an opportunity to spend Christmas day with each parent?
The advice I find myself tendering to clients around the ‘Christmas day’ contact is very much led by the needs of the parties and the views of the children (if they can give them). I feel that working collaboratively rather than rigidly often yields best results. It is common in my experience that an arrangement with the children waking up in one parent’s house on Christmas day in one year waking up at their other parent’s house on Boxing Day, and switching this arrangement year to year, seems to work well. This gives the children a ‘second’ Christmas on boxing day, and what child do we know that wouldn’t want a second Christmas?! There is, of course, no ‘one size fits all.’ Flexibility is key.
3. What do the children say?
Client’s will often ask how they can achieve an arrangement where children spend exactly half of their time with each parent. This often comes from a place of love and wanting to spend as much time with the children, before they go to spend time with their other parent. The welfare of the child is the paramount consideration. Despite the parents own feeling towards one another, a solution that works for the child should be prioritised. Modern practice implores us as family lawyers to allow the child to have a voice. If the child is old enough to express one, ask them about their thoughts and wishes. Children might have their own views about what Christmas might look like to them. You might be surprised by their answers.
4. Be in the moment – Tis not the season to be grumpy
Family time is exceptionally important and allows a strengthening of the bond and attachment between a family and child. I encourage clients to make the most of the time they have with their children throughout the year but especially at this time of year. Try to focus on the experience your children have with you at Christmas. Whether it’s two opportunities to open presents, decorating two Christmas trees or having two lots of Christmas dinner, make sure they have fun in doing it and treasure the memories.
What if agreement can’t be reached?
Unfortunately, in some situations, despite best efforts, agreement cannot be reached by individuals. At that point, the input of an experienced family lawyer can be invaluable. In my own practice, I am keen to options with clients that are least adversarial and offer the greatest opportunity for constructive discussion. If however that is not possible, litigation might be the option or last resort.
There is still time to obtain legal advice from an experienced family solicitor, in advance of the Christmas holidays. Wright, Johnston & Mackenzie has a number of experienced family solicitors, including qualified mediators and collaborators, who are well placed to help clients navigate through childcare arrangements at Christmas and thorough the year. Please get in touch.
Regardless of what the Christmas plans look like for you this year, on behalf of everyone in the Family Team at Wright, Johnston & Mackenzie, I would like to take this opportunity to wish you and your loved ones a wonderful Christmas.
The information contained in this newsletter is for general guidance only and represents our understanding of relevant law and practice as at December 2025. Wright, Johnston & Mackenzie LLP cannot be held responsible for any action taken or not taken in reliance upon the contents. Specific advice should be taken on any individual matter. Transmissions to or from our email system and calls to or from our offices may be monitored and/or recorded for regulatory purposes. Authorised and regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority. Registered office: 319 St Vincent Street, Glasgow, G2 5RZ. A limited liability partnership registered in Scotland, number SO 300336.
